Oof! I didn’t think cooking 7 meals a week would be as tough as it’s turned out to be, but after two weeks, I can say that this challenge has proven to be the hardest I’ve done for blogging purposes. October’s Rocky Horror Roller Show was a challenge that took a lot of time, but I have to say, I loved every second of it. Same with November’s Writing focus. (December’s focus of Relax and Reflect was, obviously, the easiest 😂)
Cooking, though … I really hate cooking, as it turns out.
Is it weird that I still carry a tiny glimmer of hope for the new year? For a lot of December 2021, I wasn’t sure I would. I wasn’t feeling the same excitement about a new year, even though I can’t say I was a huge fan of much of 2021.
But nonetheless, I found myself looking forward to the start of a new year. And it is nice to bid farewell to the past year and feel that sense of new beginning
I don’t do resolutions anymore for the new year and I’ll talk more about that in a bit, but I do have a few traditions. The first two are very mundane and tedious if I’m being honest. But they’re still my own traditions that have oddly helped me bring in the coming year with a sense of newness, and you’d be surprised at how satisfying it is when they’re done.
Every January, I’m tempted to hop on board the health and wellness marketing train along with others starting their New Year’s Resolutions. I can’t help it. It’s like how after being out of school for 13 years, I still want to buy new pencils and notebooks every September. I’m trying to be more conscious of consumerism and how marketing contributes to these waves of interests, but sometimes I like to get swept up in it.
This January, even though I initially wanted to put some focus on my health and re-evaluate some things, instead I decided to focus on something that actually benefited us as a family. My husband, Mark, and I have been letting the pandemic be our excuse for ordering out and getting drive-thru a lot more in the last two years. But with prices rising and our growing boredom with the usual places around us, I had the idea to challenge both me and Mark to cook at home more.
I didn't originally intend for friendship to be a big theme of mine for 2021, but for a pandemic, I had a very full year of it!
I realized early in the year how much I was longing for past friendships that have dissipated or fallen by the wayside in recent years, even before quarantine and social distancing were in the picture.
This was one of the first times I know of in my life where I actively challenged myself to step outside my comfort zone of hiding behind my screen and to find people like me — and in a way that didn’t feel like I was bending over backward or pretending I was someone else or trying to act “normal” or make everyone like me (the impossible). I made some mistakes, of course. I even repeated a few until the lessons finally sank in. But I'm also proud of how I found strength and rebuilding in the process of getting back up from those setbacks.
When I picked the words Relax & Reflect for this month’s focus, I had a feeling “Relax” would somehow be harder than it sounds and I was right. By the middle of the month, our whole house was passing around one of the five colds our 4-year-old brought home from school this year and my plan to keep a lot of white space on the calendar turned out for the best.
I wrote about this in the mid-month entry, but one way I found to relax was when I picked up my childhood hobby of making friendship bracelets again. I’ve found it to be incredibly relaxing and a nice way to stim while watching TV or talking with Mark. I get into such a rhythm and it’s so funny how the muscle memory came right back.
Planning on getting a new Nest Hub/Google Home for the holidays and want to learn some of the ways I like using it to manage my ADHD?
Settle in because I have been immersed in the Google ecosystem for a while now. When I tell you I think of Google as my Second Brain, you’ll soon see why.
This will be a quick post, but let me know if you have any questions or want me to expand on anything I mention 😉 you can leave a comment over on my Instagram or in the comments below.
There's this internal conflict that hits around this time of year where there are simultaneous feelings of wanting to rest and recharge, but there's also a push to be productive and finish the year strong. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who feels it, right?
Maybe that comes from the end of the year reflection and, as I alluded to in my Monthly Focus post, the disappointment we may feel as we look back at the year and find we didn't accomplish the goals we wanted to.
Sometimes I get embarrassed talking about yoga and how much I love it. A lot of people have very strong opinions of yoga I’ve found. I also get a lot of up-and-down looks when I say that I do daily yoga as if someone who does daily yoga should look a certain way, which I do not.
Sometimes people jump to the conclusion that I’m going to talk about how yoga is the be-all, end-all cure for everything. For the record, I try to stay away from that kind of talk about anything — I truly believe people need to search for what works best for them for their health.
After last month’s focus on Writing and creating this blog, plus all the other life happenings lately, I really felt like I had no choice but to declare this month’s focus to be Rest and Reflect.
Most Decembers, this mode seems to happen automatically and I've learned to keep the holiday season from getting too overwhelming and overbooked. With the extra stress of my mom’s health being up in the air, plus the ongoing stress of parenting through a pandemic, I know this is as good a season as any to take it easy and not push for a big project.
I took this photo the other day in the hospital while waiting for my mom to get back from an MRI. She had a seizure the last week of November after a mini-stroke/TIA a few weeks earlier. Her health has been up in-the-air and, to be honest, it’s been a really difficult time.
Like last month, I’m still sitting in what I now call my little Kitchen nook to get the sunlight first thing in the morning to help my mental health, but with so much that seems out of my control right now, the overwhelm has meant a few more dark days. I’m using flowery language a bit. I’ve had days where everything is just f*cking terrible and feel like they kick my ass.
This week has been a very scaled-back week for me in terms of work and productivity. My mom’s health has taken some turns over the past few weeks and there’s a lot of uncertainty about her. The heaviness of all the emotions, plus the general stress of being a parent during a pandemic has really made me aware of how much stress can impact my motivation, energy, and focus.
I’m not a productivity expert (though I did write show notes for The Productive Woman podcast and that may have been one of the best experiences I could have had as someone with ADHD and who also wants to get a lot accomplished in her lifetime. One thing I learned from the host, Laura McClellan, is that different seasons in life require different forms of productivity and planning.
One night a few weeks before the holidays I was exhausted after spending loads of time with our youngest who had announced that morning that he was sick — every parent’s worst nightmare to wake up to.
I was mentally exhausted, but after sitting through the editing of two podcasts that day, I knew I needed to move around. I decided to roller skate for a little while to get some practice in and give myself a bit of a mental break, like skating always does. As I stretched and warmed up by doing my usual yoga routine, I noticed I was feeling a bit wobbly.
As someone who’s struggled with my weight my whole life, I have had times when I was a slave to the scale and it’s only been recently when I have been able to answer truthfully that I forget to get on the scale unless something feels off.
When I was doing the podcast Hate to Weight and actively pursuing weight loss as a goal, I was stepping on weekly to update my cohost and our audience with my progress. We made it a very big point on the show that the numbers and the scale didn’t matter — that said, it was something my cohost, John, and I both thought was important to talk about on the show since that was our original goal.
NOTE: I am not a doctor or medical professional. I am speaking from my own experience as someone who was diagnosed with Adenomyosis and ADHD. Please see full disclaimer at the bottom of webpage.
Imagine having a tough time with getting things done, and then on top of that, having another condition that actually physically stops you some days.
That’s what it’s like living with ADHD and Adenomyosis. These two conditions aren’t related, as far as I know. But for me, they’re both equally important to consider when it comes to being a mom, running a podcast editing business, and, oh, living in 2021 currently.
I published my blog last night. I'm oddly not nervous at all. It's my corner of the internet I created for me and those who may find my story helpful.
I bought the domain emilyoutloud.com and forwarded it to the site for now. And I put the link on my links page for my bio, though I haven’t announced anything formally yet.
When I think about my social media usage over the years, it surprises me that I’m more confused about how to use it than ever. Don’t get me wrong, I consider myself part of the social media pioneer generation. Compared to what Facebook is now, it astonishes me that I was around when you needed a college email to sign up and it still had “The” before its official name. And there was no talk of the Metaverse at all.
But ever since starting a podcast and then a business, I began to use social media for much more than catching up with friends and family. I began to use it to network and promote more.
Usually, my period is what throws my week for a loop. But since that was last week’s hassle, I started the week with an optimistic outlook. On Tuesday night I finished up my work, made a quick list of things I wanted to get to the next day, and went to bed with this all-too-smug feeling that I was finally on top of my game.
My smugness was short-lived when my 4-year-old woke me up early the next morning announcing every parent’s nightmare — he didn’t feel well. You’d think after three (3!!!) colds in the last six weeks, I’d be used to this, but this one felt like it was going to be the one that made me crack and completely lose it.
If you ever want to literally hear the gears churning in my head, catch me on a day I’ve just had an amazing idea AND can plan it out and brainstorm it to my heart’s content!
With ADHD, this is actually a specialty of mine. I absolutely love that when I get an idea, sometimes it can hit me with such a force that I can pinpoint so many little details and also I’m able to zoom out and see it from a bird’s eye view to know what needs to get done and how. It’s a beautiful thing I credit my ADHD with being able to do.
It's Day 3 of my period. Yesterday it was like a truck hit me. The pain and discomfort is hard to describe, especially to people who've never experienced pain in the uterus before. And the fatigue from being in pain and discomfort is actually one of the most frustrating side-effects of Adenomyosis.
During my period, it’s common for me to wake up feeling like I’m hungover. I don’t drink anymore because I have too many days like this per month that the idea of intentionally doing this kind of damage to myself is not something I like to entertain.
I'm bed with the heating pad and smoking weed to help with stabby cramps around my uterus that stretch around to my lower back and radiate down my legs and up my spine. After having Adenomyosis for so long, I’m oddly used to dealing with pain the week of my period and ovulation, and anything else during the other two weeks of the month is considered a “flare.”
It's been difficult to concentrate when my brain is at least 40% occupied with "What is happening?! We're in pain down where babies come from?! What danger is this?!"
